two haikus, two days before the bar.

Take-off

little model planes
i once thought were wastes-of-time
taught me to fly-- fly!

Fruit Chop

love man cuts me up
bitesize cubes to snack on, and
that's how i study

Beginning Piano!

Nick Gilder - Hot Child In The City

love it.

Hello Seattle - Owl City

West Side Story- updated!

This sounds awesome! The Puerto Rican Characters sing in Spanish!

A Rumble on Broadway - The Daily Beast

There's Always Someone Cooler Than You

it's true.

changing again!

So from now on, this is going to be my personal blog. Subjects will be literary or self-expression. Audience is primarily close friends, me, and other random people.

My other blog will be one for me to use as a tool to engage in dialogue with others about the things I care about. It is under the links in my profile or "Links I Love."

Fourth Anniversary Festival

Raul and I are celebrating the four year anniversary of the weekend that we met- starting the day before yesterday and through today- we call it the "festival." There was never a day when we officially started our relationship. However, when met in New Orleans while he was visiting after auditioning for grad schools, we instantly made a connection that we both knew was extremely special. It has been a very happy four years, and I've been going through old pictures enjoying everything we have shared all over again. I thought it would be nice to post some of the video project Raul made for me a couple of years ago for my birthday- if only just to have it online as a backup. It tells the story of our first couple of years together. I'm leaving off the first and last sections because they have just have tons of names and only a few pictures from the weekend we met (which, if you dig, you can find on a post in this blog from the past). Anyways, this video is the most touching- and fun- gift I've ever received. Hope you enjoy it!

To Raul- I love you so much and thank you for this and all other little (and big) ways you make my life awesome.

part 2-keeping in touch after the weekend we met (part 1 is skipped)


part 3- arriving in Costa Rica!



part 4 -Costa Rica!



part 5- the semester after hurricane Katrina- I went to school in New Hampshire



part 6- Raul's 1st Christmas in New Orleans!



part 7- sweet message + Raul's winter 2005 travels


part 8- our first Mardi Gras together! The end!

My thoughts exactly.

Editorial: We'll miss you, Deuce - Editorials - Times-Picayune - NOLA.com

What I am, why, and how.

I am
a mistake maker,
a chance taker,
afraid--
standing at the edge of this
precipice,
preparing to jump into
house, husband, and hopefully a 9-to-5.

I am not
a subscriber to the "no-regrets" approach.
No.
My little bag of things-I-wish-I'd-done-or-hadn't
lies bedside me.

Each morning,
I reach over and fish out
one well-worn regret to relive--
to remember
so many times that undeserved Grace
came to me with Love.

Recalling this, maybe
throughout the day
I will not take every chance to turn away,
hold back,
judge,
reject,
or recoil.

Instead, perhaps
Grace will grow in me,
and fertilized by regret recalled, it will sprout openness,
fearlessness,
understanding,
sweet sweet reconciliation,
and the willingness to dive in deep.

It's all beautiful, my friend.

What a great song to help you to appreciate life
and to be happy for the happiness of others.

I am sincerely happy for you when you have success. I hope that you can see that in my eyes whenever we meet, should we meet in the future.

Lyrics and translation below.

Bonito, todo me parece bonito
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me
Bonita mañana
—This morning is Beautiful
bonito lugar
—this place is beautiful
bonita la cama
—The bed is beautiful
qué bien se ve el mar
—The sea looks beautiful
bonito es el día
—Beautiful is the day
que acaba de empezar, bonita la vida
—that has just started, life is beautiful
respira, respira, respira
—breathe, breathe, breathe

El teléfono suena, mi pana se queja:
—The telephone rings, my buddy complains:
la cosa va mal, la vida le pesa
—everything’s going wrong, life’s weighing him down
que vivir así ya no le interesa
—that living like this no longer interests him
que seguir así no vale la pena
—that going on like this is not worth it
se perdió el amor, se acabó la fiesta
—love has been lost, the party has ended
ya no anda el motor que empuja la tierra
—the engine that moves the earth is no longer running
la vida es un chiste con triste final
—life is a joke with a sad ending
el futuro no existe, pero yo le digo...
—the future doesn’t exist, but I tell him...

Bonito, todo me parece bonito
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me

Bonita la paz, bonita la vida
—Peace is beautiful, life is beautiful
bonito volver a nacer cada día
—It is beautiful to be able to be reborn everyday
bonita la verdad cuando no suena a mentira
—truth is beautiful when it doesn’t sound like lies
bonita la amistad, bonita la risa
—friendship is beautiful, laughter is beautiful
bonita la gente cuando hay calidad
—people are beautiful when they have worth
bonita la gente que no se arrepiente
—People who have no regrets are beautiful
que gana y que pierde, que habla y no miente
—who win and lose, who speak and don’t lie
bonita la gente por eso yo digo...
People are beautiful and that is why I say...

Bonito, todo me parece bonito
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me

Qué bonito que te va cuando te va bonito,
—How beautiful it is when everything goes beautifully for you
qué bonito que te va
— It’s going so beautifully for you

Bonito, todo me parece bonito
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me.
La mar, la mañana, la casa, la sombra,
—The sea, the morning, the house, the shade,
la tierra, la paz y la vida que pasa.
—the earth, peace and life as it goes by.
Bonito, todo me parece bonito.
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me
Tu calma, tu salsa, la mancha en la
—Your tranquility, your salsa, the freckle on your
espalda, tu cara, tus ganas el fin de semana
—back, your face, your desires, the weekend

Bonita la gente que viene y que va
—Beautiful are the people who come and go
bonita la gente que no se detiene
—beautiful are the people who don’t hold back
bonita la gente que no tiene edad
—beautiful are the peolple that are ageless
que escucha, que entiende, que tiene y que da
—that listen, that understand, that have and that give

Bonito Portet*, bonito Peret*
—Beautiful Portet, beautiful Peret
bonita la rumba, bonito José*
—the rumba is beautiful, beautiful José
bonita la brisa que no tiene prisa
—the unhurried breeze is beautiful
bonito este día, respira, respira
—this day is beautiful, breathe, breathe
Bonita la gente cuando es de verdad
—Beautiful are the people that are honest
Bonita la gente que es diferente
—Beautiful are the people that are different
Que tiembla, que siente
—That tremble, that feel
Que vive el presente
—That live in the present
bonita la gente que estuvo y no está.
—Beautiful are the people that were and no longer are.

Bonito, todo me parece bonito.
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me

Qué bonito que te va cuando te va bonito,
—How beautiful it is when everything goes beautifully for you
qué bonito que te va
—It’s going so beautifully for you
Qué bonito que se está cuando se está
—How beautiful it is when everything is
bonito, qué bonito que se está.
—beautiful, it is so beautiful

Bonito, todo me parece bonito
—Beautiful, everything seems beautiful to me

Today is not mine

"Somedays aren't yours at all.
They come and go as if they're someone else's days.
They come and leave you behind someone else's face-
and its harsher than yours
and colder than yours.

They come in all quiet, sweep up,
and then they leave.
And you don't hear a single floor board creek.
They're so much stronger than the friends
you try to keep
by your side.

Downtown,
downtown.

I'm not here-
not anymore.

I've gone away; don't call me.
Don't write."

A good ego bruising...

It's that time of year again- time to get law school grades. So far, I only have one posted. And it's not that good- basically a law school C. Not the kind of grade that means you'll be a bad lawyer, but not the kind of grade that rockets you to the top of your class, either. Normally I wouldn't really care, but...

I loved this class. Nerd that I am, I usually like going to school. But this was an especially interesting law school class that kept me awake and thinking despite it's 8:00 am timeslot! This was probably my favorite class in all of law school, and I showed it the respect it deserved.

I read all the material! I took notes! I thought about the material in my spare time, even! And I studied hard for the test.

And I got a mediocre grade.

Now I know my classes are full of bright people, the grades are curved, and anything can happen on exam day. But you just think that in life when you put effort into something, when you really work hard, your efforts are going to be rewarded. Instead of an "A", my efforts were rewarded with a big fat "eh."

Complicating things is the fact that my relationship with grades has not always been 100% healthy. One of the things I have really struggled with is my perfectionistic streak. For many years, I basically judge myself based on how well I performed, and it was pretty much never good enough for me. It's wrong and I know it, but that's how I thought about myself for most of my life.

These past two years, I have improved a lot in being happy with my results and being proud of myself for my effort. And I haven't even gotten into the real world of a full time job, where I can really help people and see that what I am doing is actually worth something.

I know now that a funny thing happens when you stop worrying about being perfect: you can work even harder and not concentrate on how your performance will affect your sense of self-worth.

That's what I did this semester, and it felt great. I worked my booty off and learned a ton. And now that I have my first grade of the semester, I'm afraid that my increasingly healthy attitude toward work might have taken some important nervous meticulousness away from my exam-writing and hurt my GPA. Maybe this is why so many confident, smart people don't have the best grades?

Or maybe I just got unlucky and had a bad day. Or maybe I don't mesh with how this (still awesome) professor grades. Or perhaps I --*gasp*-- just didn't get it as well as the other smarties in that class.

Who knows? I don't.

What kind of life lesson is this?!? LOL.

PS: holidays were great. My family and friends and fiance are all awesome and I'm very, very blessed.